Prepare Jr. for Adversity!
So, Jr. (my term for your BB player) wants to play college basketball. Many high school players share this dream and they all need to know that the path through collegiate athletics is littered with obstacles, challenges, and adversity. Players who know that the path will not always be rosy and who get good advice during difficult times tend to have the best chances for success.
My son, who is currently a student athlete at Arkansas Tech, prepared long and hard through physical and academic adversity to be ready to play BB during the 2008-09 seasin. One week before the beginning of the season, he came down the wrong way on a knee, and that was it. Surgery quickly followed and rehab is currently under way. How will he deal with this new challenge? Will he allow his academics to slip? Will he exert the effort and hard work necessary to rehab and fulfill his dream? What will he learn from this experience? Will this situation make him bitter or better?
One certainty for every college athlete is adversity! The coaches may ride Jr. very hard. Jr. may not get the playing time he expected. The school may change coaches in midstream. The school may recruit “Mr. Basketball” at Jr.’s position. An injury could occur. Academic issues may threaten Jr.’s eligibility. The team may not like Jr. and make things difficult for him. This list can go on and on.
Adversity MUST be viewed as opportunities to develop Jr.’s character. That nasty attitude may not be discovered until pressure is applied. Jr. may have never realized that his work ethic needs adjustment if he had not been benched. The opportunity to play college ball and get a great education may have never been appreciated until it was temporarily taken away. Parents, it IS YOUR JOB to help Jr. understand that the path to success goes straight through adversity!
The distress call
As a parent, how do you respond when Jr. calls pouting about a problem? During his freshman season, my son Mike, called me concerning a coach’s decision to make him run “Stadiums” (running up and down stadium steps). Mike felt that this was unfair because the coach misunderstood the circumstances that led to the “punishment”. How did I respond? Well, though I privately agreed that the coach was a bit unfair, I asked my son, “WHY are you calling ME? I am not your coach; you can run the “Stadiums” or quit the team. This is up to you!”. I then hung up the phone. Fortunately, Mike made the right decision. Not only did he run the stadiums, but his level of play improved, including a couple of double-doubles and a 16 point effort in 14 minutes to end the season. If I had patronized him, I would have destroyed an opportunity for my son to mature as a person and a player. I have a hard and fast policy when it comes to my son’s coaches, “I allow them to coach (without interference) and I parent, case closed!
This reminds me of a scene from the movie, “Remember the Titans”. Head football coach, Denzel Washington tells one of his assistant coaches who chooses to play a player that Denzel had benched, “You are not helping these kids by patronizing them, you are…crippling them for LIFE!”.
Coach Herb Sendek of Arizona State highlighted these truths during the 2008 RCS Sports’ Parent and Coaches Recruiting Workshop when he shared “The Vinny DelNegro Story”. I have published this clip on YouTube and you can view it by clicking below.
The Dad
My son, who is currently a student athlete at Arkansas Tech, prepared long and hard through physical and academic adversity to be ready to play BB during the 2008-09 seasin. One week before the beginning of the season, he came down the wrong way on a knee, and that was it. Surgery quickly followed and rehab is currently under way. How will he deal with this new challenge? Will he allow his academics to slip? Will he exert the effort and hard work necessary to rehab and fulfill his dream? What will he learn from this experience? Will this situation make him bitter or better?
One certainty for every college athlete is adversity! The coaches may ride Jr. very hard. Jr. may not get the playing time he expected. The school may change coaches in midstream. The school may recruit “Mr. Basketball” at Jr.’s position. An injury could occur. Academic issues may threaten Jr.’s eligibility. The team may not like Jr. and make things difficult for him. This list can go on and on.
Adversity MUST be viewed as opportunities to develop Jr.’s character. That nasty attitude may not be discovered until pressure is applied. Jr. may have never realized that his work ethic needs adjustment if he had not been benched. The opportunity to play college ball and get a great education may have never been appreciated until it was temporarily taken away. Parents, it IS YOUR JOB to help Jr. understand that the path to success goes straight through adversity!
The distress call
As a parent, how do you respond when Jr. calls pouting about a problem? During his freshman season, my son Mike, called me concerning a coach’s decision to make him run “Stadiums” (running up and down stadium steps). Mike felt that this was unfair because the coach misunderstood the circumstances that led to the “punishment”. How did I respond? Well, though I privately agreed that the coach was a bit unfair, I asked my son, “WHY are you calling ME? I am not your coach; you can run the “Stadiums” or quit the team. This is up to you!”. I then hung up the phone. Fortunately, Mike made the right decision. Not only did he run the stadiums, but his level of play improved, including a couple of double-doubles and a 16 point effort in 14 minutes to end the season. If I had patronized him, I would have destroyed an opportunity for my son to mature as a person and a player. I have a hard and fast policy when it comes to my son’s coaches, “I allow them to coach (without interference) and I parent, case closed!
This reminds me of a scene from the movie, “Remember the Titans”. Head football coach, Denzel Washington tells one of his assistant coaches who chooses to play a player that Denzel had benched, “You are not helping these kids by patronizing them, you are…crippling them for LIFE!”.
Coach Herb Sendek of Arizona State highlighted these truths during the 2008 RCS Sports’ Parent and Coaches Recruiting Workshop when he shared “The Vinny DelNegro Story”. I have published this clip on YouTube and you can view it by clicking below.
The Dad
View video on You Tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dcqpHJih2c
posted by Larry Shepard @ 11:33 AM
2 Comments:
At 8:21 PM,
Anonymous said…
Larry - let me ask you this. My son was recruited to play at a number of D3 colleges, offered spots on three teams, decided on one. We had both verbal, and written correspondence confirming his playing on the team. Coach quits, new coach starts 3 weeks before school starts. We are committed, registered, paid and ready to move in. Son starts school with all the team members like the team already exists. Does all the conditioning (5am), open gyms, study tables with the team up to season start this past week. Finds out he is not going to be rostered, cut actually. A year of being recruited, multiple offers, a press release confirmed by the prior coach about his being on the 2009-2010 team. New coach brings one kid from prior school, of course he makes it. Add insult to injury, my son and a teammate (6.8kid) both recruited, both came, both room together. He was kept. We are beyond belief, actually crazed at this point. Kid's just destroyed, humiliated. Adversity I get, this I can't. This will about kill his chances for anything next. What would you do in this case? Talking to the coach would be total BS at this point - seen enough of other coaches do the "well his this or that...." For point of reference, kid is 6.4, Starter at a 2000 kid high school, Senior Team Captain, good stats, team finished top 5 in the state, only team to beat the team that won State, and two of those kids on that team are going Marquee Level D1. Would love to hear your comments.
At 3:01 PM,
Larry Shepard said…
I have responded to this comment with a new blog post: What To Do When The Coach Quits and Leaves You Hanging
You can view it here:
http://the-dads-basketball-blog.blogspot.com/2009/10/what-to-do-when-coach-quits-and-leaves.html
The Dad
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